In this episode, Lyn & Steve spend a little longer explain two types of communication tactics that often help in relationships. They explain the two types of listening and the 5 types of communicating. Watch the video below to find out more.
On todays episode, Lyn & Steve discuss interdepency in a relationship and the importance of it. Watch the video below.
Introducing Life Hacks For Lasting Love, by Lyn and Steve Baird. You can watch our first video below or read along below to find out why we are starting this new venture and what the first four stages of relationships are.
Welcome to life hacks for lasting love, Lyn and I have decided to put this together so that we can talk about how we’ve managed to live together, to survive together and to raise children together for the last 33 years and stay together, and stay in love. We think it’s an important facility that we can offer to people. Lyn is a qualified relationship counselor and I’m here for the ride.
This really came from a dream from both of us, really wanting to mentor other couples, really wanting to just talk about some of the things that are found, especially in my private practice and just little tips to help along the way. And so we really started coming up with the idea of what are some life tips or life hacks for lasting love?
We ran a focus group last mont and we found that a lot of people would be interested in this idea. I teach on relationship counseling, and I just have such a passion to see relationships being whole, fun, loving, and being able to go through the different stages that relationships go through.
In our respective occupations, sadly, we often see the breakup of marriages; the reasons for them, I don’t see, but as a builder in a building inspector I do see them all the time. What I see is the volume in the number of people that are selling homes, buying homes, I’ve seen them buy homes and then sell again, in a short period of time because their relationships have fallen apart.
We think there’s a demand out there, we think there’s a necessity out there for a couple who has made it this long, to share with you how to do this. It’s not easy. It is hard work.
We have four beautiful children and three grandchildren and forth on the way
and life is good but it hasn’t always been good. We’ve definitely gone through the stages. And I think what really started and prompted this idea was that I spoke on the radio and I was being interviewed and talking just about life stairs, status of relationship counseling, and realized that, you know, there’s a lot of things I say, in my private practice or too couples regularly. And it’s not rocket science. It’s just if we understood and navigated through the different stages, and really remember to put each other as a priority you can have the relationship that you’re dreaming of.
If you were to come for relationship counseling, we do actually asked that you tell us about your love life and how you met. And we’re going to be talking about that later. You know, we’ll talk about how we met and things like that later down the track.
We see people the most during the conflict stage. So the romance stage is a lovely stage, and it’s nice to remit reminiscing in that. But the struggle with the conflict stage, when we’re having the power struggle, learning to live together, learning have to compromise and, you know, just navigate all the things that you have to navigate between finances, in laws, chores, then when children come and things like that decision making really important to know how to navigate through those stages so that we can move to stability where doesn’t feel like it’s well or three in your household or there’s character assassination happening.
It isn’t free, it’s hard work, it’s worth the work, the work is caring work is looking after each other, the work is taking yourself off the front burner and putting what you need on the back burner. But not all the time it’s sharing that.
So there are times when you’re in charge, when you have your priorities, your lead to have that you have to that all the time, that’s just damn selfishness. So it is hard work to pick that out but its worth it.
Sometimes its about identifying each other’s filters. The way we look at things, may be completely different, and sometimes those different filters just get in the way.
Yeah, family of origin, that has been a challenge for us. And I think it is for a lot of couples. It’s not now because we’ve navigated through that stage.
And, you know, I hear so many people say, Oh, you know, ‘we’re fighting all the time. So we’re not meant to be together or fallen out of love’ but that’s actually normal. Because in that we choose every day to love each other and choose every day to forgive each other, or learn to understand each other. And it’s really being able to sort of thing. Whatever I invest in, or turn my hand to, is what’s going to prosper.
We all know that the opposite of love is isn’t hate, the the opposite of love is indifference. So if you are fighting, it shows there is actually some love there and room so you can move into that stability stage, where you see it’s fun and we enjoy each other’s company.
I started explaining at the beginning what the life stages are, our relationship stages are the romance stage, then there’s the conflict stage, before we move into the stability stage, and from there we move into the golden autumn years, and co creation.
We will be sharing resources that I’ve collected over the years, of doing 20 years of relationship counseling, having also been married to this amazing man, as I said, 32 years and just sharing our journey.
Welcome to life hacks, for lasting love, e would ask that you would follow us so that we can really share with you the wisdom that we have gained along the way, even though we’re still learning, because no one’s perfect.